"Pangako"
ni
Virgiliio F. De leon Jr. MD
I
Sabihin mo sa akin
At aking ibabaon sa aking isip
Malayo sa mga nang aabuso
At kahit sa mga pilit sumisilip
II
Itatago ang aspetong sa iyo
At ilalalaman lang ng puso
Mga salitang di na muling mariring
Nakahimlay sa takdang pananalig.
III
Sabihin ang mga kabiguan
At aking babaguhin
Sabihin , sabihin
Nang di na uulitin.
The Nerd Lab , Caloocan City. March 30 , 2024
"The Smokey Clerk"
by:
Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD
One of the things that I really loved about my Medical Clerk days was when a Consultant or Resident would send me to buy food at the smokiest places ever like Grill Queen or the ubiquitous ilk of the place in Monumento.
I would be starting my 24 hour duty this way , standing among the smoke , waiting for the thing to be cooked , looking like Undertaker emerging from the fog. And the smell of the barbecue would stay with me all through out the night.
We might be doing rounds , resuscitating a patient or taking history in the private rooms and all I could focus on was the constant smell of the barbecue that would be on my skin and clothes. It even made those around me hungry even if some of them were not being honest about it. Some patients would comment and I would continue scribbling on my pad to refrain from an answering , ako po yun. Ako po yung amoy masarap.
Did I harbor ill will towards these consultants or Residents? None at all because I was already prepared for this mentally. It is all part of the process to be noticed , to be favored or to even get a much needed rest from endless things to do in the hospital. Standing around waiting for things to be cooked is better than being grilled for answers that you do not know or have not been able to read on just yet.
My problem with medicine back then was not mentally but emotionally. And I could have prepared a lot more for that fact but heck I lived through it.
The reason I wrote about this is that you can now order Barbecued things without getting the smoke on you via Panda or Grab. And I was finding the whole batch of those clerks on duty at the hospital lucky that all they need to do is collect money and wait for the orders. Oh well.
"About a Grrl Rock band and simple times gone past."
by:
Virgilio F. De leon Jr,MD
My friend ST and I were talking a few weeks back about the days of Club Dredd. The last time I checked this was already a shooting range in present times but it used to be the center of a thriving rock scene in the heart of QC.
Our discussion turned to a girl band , not the kpop kind , the kind that was loud and did not care. And my old brain could not remember their name. Only a long time crush named Jeng Tan. Oddly enough I started looking at old issues of Rock and Rhythm online and was a bit saddened that these old things were one of the bonds that youth of my age shared. People would buy the latest issue , practice the chords and in a lot of places who ever can master the song first was thought of as the coolest. They usually were.
So back to the girl band , my friend said that he was able to interview them and deep inside I envied him as I have only seen them on covers and several appearances on TV. They were something else during the 90's , they were girls who were drinking and swearing in a male filled bar and they were good looking too. Yet I could not remember their name until I searched Jeng Tan and found Pin-Up Girls who were originally from the band Kelts Cross.
The rock songs of the 90's are now considered classics and weirdly enough you see these 3 decade old songs being blasted on special programs and even in Grocery stores. Of course I sincerely doubt that German cut from this band will make the...ehem...cut for public consumption. And that is probably what endears them to me still , when their is something from your youth that can't be turned into a power ballad or boy band version then you love it even more and Kelt's Cross will most likely never cross over to that more mainstream sound.
"The Saddest Fear"
by:
Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD
I guess nothing is more frightening than typing in your laptop , asking for help from a workmate and then realizing that you are on your way to the clinic without even remembering how you got into the elevator and unto a wheel chair.
From the chest pain and the numbness of your limbs , to the shortness of breathe despite being on oxygen you have got to think that this is the scariest right?
Yet this patient's scariest thought is that he would inconvenience his family. That if he was sent to a nearer ER none of his family would come. Or he would cause them all a hassle. He was scared that he would be in that ER all alone.
And this fear is probably the saddest one that I will remember.
"The Silent Suffering"
by:
Virgilio F. De leon Jr. MD
In one of my earlier posts as a Doctor I was assigned to a Call Center that was situated on top of a well known Mall Chain in the Philippines. One patient came in and I instantly noticed that he was a bit off , he looked sad , withdrawn. I observed him but since he did not want to do a consult I felt like I should just take note of him for future reference. After all people can be sad but are dealing with their sadness on their own terms. Sadly this same patient was seen arguing with his girlfriend 2 days after and he decided to jump from the 6th storey parking lot we were in. As fate would have it he would not reach the bottom of that 6 storey drop. He did however sustain 2 broken legs and a broken heart. Apparently this was his 2nd attempt at a jump from that area. The first one was also after a heated argument with his girlfriend. I believe that this was the only time that the mall considered placing barriers in that specific place. I am not entirely sure of what happened to this patient next as my contract with that company ended.
So why did I write this today? A few days back someone came into the clinic and said "Doc , I am having bad thoughts. I am thinking of killing myself. Is there any place I can check myself into?"
And I had to place this patient on hold. Checking on him. Talking to him. I had nothing to calm him down if he became violent. Only my words and my experience in dealing with someone like this. People always need someone to talk to and someone who can make them feel at ease that they are actually being heard. I admire the psychiatrists and counselors who do this kind of work so naturally.
I only had my ears and a few words of encouragement for this patient who had been carrying this burden all by himself. I have thought of that patient who never sought help and jumped. I was happy that this patient I was talking to at least knew to ask for help , that he has had enough and without pride admitted that he could not do it alone. It made me wonder who much more was out there suffering still. Sometimes I think all one can do is to be ready.
XG- Puppet Show MV Reaction: "A past invasion."
by:
Virgilio F. De leon Jr. MD
XG has finally released the final song of their first full length album and with it another phase of their invasion of the world in general with a new sound.
Coming on the heels of New Dance which in my opinion is one of the best summer vibe songs ever and best positive song ever. It just reeks of fun.
Puppet Show offers another side of XG which they have been promising to show. And while they have been showing this alien invasion in phases with their travel in Shooting star , their initial invasion of earth in Girl gvng , their scouting of the planet and incubation in TGIF , and their establishment of a Colony in New Dance.
I do believe that Puppet show features a past invasion of another planet. And this is shown in a highly stylized video of their arrival and eventual subjugation of this cloudlike planet. All culminating in their rise to the tower like structure in the middle of the realm.
Puppet Show continues their progression of sound. I feel like the rappers actually took a back seat here in favor of Chisa and Juria's awesome vocals but they are still there.
While the message of the song is something I might have issue with the overall effect is still catchy that you might find yourself singing "Welcome to the puppet show" and if you can dance might still catch yourself dancing to this song.
As of this writing it already has almost 2Million views on youtube. A lot slower than the high tier girl groups and I guess indicates a little more promotion on their part. Hopefully the numbers rise a whole lot more when they promote in music shows.
I truly am happy that they were able to bring so many good songs this year and I am hopeful that their popularity grows even more.
