The Silent Suffering

"The Silent Suffering"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr. MD

In one of my earlier posts as a Doctor I was assigned to a Call Center that was situated on top of a well known Mall Chain in the Philippines. One patient came in and I instantly noticed that he was a bit off , he looked sad , withdrawn. I observed him but since he did not want to do a consult I felt like I should just take note of him for future reference. After all people can be sad but are dealing with their sadness on their own terms. Sadly this same patient was seen arguing with his girlfriend 2 days after and he decided to jump from the 6th storey parking lot we were in. As fate would have it he would not reach the bottom of that 6 storey drop. He did however sustain 2 broken legs and a broken heart. Apparently this was his 2nd attempt at a jump from that area. The first one was also after a heated argument with his girlfriend.  I believe that this was the only time that the mall considered placing barriers in that specific place. I am not entirely sure of what happened to this patient next as my contract with that company ended.

So why did I write this today? A few days back someone came into the clinic and said "Doc , I am having bad thoughts. I am thinking of killing myself. Is there any place I can check myself into?"

And I had to place this patient on hold. Checking on him. Talking to him. I had nothing to calm him down if he became violent. Only my words and my experience in dealing with someone like this. People always need someone to talk to and someone who can make them feel at ease that they are actually being heard. I admire the psychiatrists and counselors who do this kind of work so naturally. 

I only had my ears and a few words of encouragement for this patient who had been carrying this burden all by himself. I have thought of that patient who never sought help and jumped. I was happy that this patient I was talking to at least knew to ask for help , that he has had enough and without pride admitted that he could not do it alone. It made me wonder how much more were out there suffering still. Unheard and silently suffering. Sometimes I think all one can do is to be ready. I am.