"The Letter"

"The Letter"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD 

I

A small pile had gathered by my feet

Crumpled paper with your name on them

I had started and stopped saying

Words that I might letter be condemned

II

To say these things to you

Felt like committing a crime

It had taken me all this night

To think express what was in my mind

III

Yet there are words and thoughts

And I felt the paper would not except them

So I crumple each and everyone

Still not able to finish this letter.

Optum. Quezon City. October 09 , 2021. 6:47am

"Doc In , Doc Out: 17 years Ago"

 "Doc In , Doc Out: 17 years Ago"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD

17 years ago on a cold afternoon where I have spent most of the day out of sorts my mom had knocked on my door. We had people who we consider as family who was having a baby. It was not her due date yet but she was having birthing pains.

I hurriedly changed clothes to accompany them to the hospital. Though I had experience giving birth to babies during my duties in Fabella , this would the first time that I will be on my own.

We had ridden the Honda City that we owned , the same one that I have spent driving now going to and fro from my duties. Just as we were about to turn left to go to MCU from our street  , our family friend was screaming in pain and she herself felt that the baby was about to go out. 

So we stopped in front of the old gasoline station in front of San Guillermo street and I assisted the best I could in this birth. It was a baby who had already been macerated or had died inside the womb. The reason we would learn later on was that it's cord twisted to the point that it can no longer receive much needed oxygen and blood from his mother. It was a boy. The car already smelled of amniotic fluid among other things , I had caught the baby and was now laying it on top of his mom's chest. 

We went to the MCU hospital where I would relay the grim news to my own mom and that our family friend would stay in the hospital under antibiotics for a week or so.

17 years ago I have been experiencing death and pain. I know that feeling of loss , to know that you will be carrying a little life inside only to lose it without a fight. I have seen it in my rounds in Fabella where we would have to complete abortions. Explain to the expactant , hopeful mothers that their little one's are gone. 

17 years and I have been the bearer of bad and good news. Rest in peace little one.  

"Squid Game: A Twist to your Favorite Childhood Games"

 "Squid Game: A Twist to your Favorite Childhood Games"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD

I am a fan of Survival games , having watched Cube , Battle Royale , Gantz and Alice in Borderland before this Korean series. 

I have been interested in watching it  ever since I read the synopsis. So when my wife suggested we watch it last Saturday night I immediately said yes. 

Seong Gi-hun is part of 456 participants in a series of mysterious life and death games. All that you need to know about these people is that all of them want to be in these games.All of their motivations are shown as the series progresses. 

Some elements that this series has in common with the other one's that I have mentioned is that the games get more and more horrific over time. You will be rooting for people in this series , you might relate to their struggles or not but you will root for them to live nonetheless.

The most disturbing aspect of this series for me is that it always manages to take something innocent and pure and turn it into a twisted image of itself.

I don't like spoiling the fun for others. Like Miracle in Cell #7 though get ready for a very harrowing emotional ride. 

Dear Pasyente na di nagdedeclare ng Symptoms sa Health declaration form ,

 Dear Pasyente na di nagdedeclare ng Symptoms sa Health declaration form , 

Naiintindihan ko na kailangan mong magtrabaho para may mapakain ka sa iyong pamilya. Ang mga Doctor at Nurses ng company clinic at mga kasama mo sa opisina ay nagtatrabaho din para sa kani-kanilang pamilya. 

Kaya ang ginawa mo na inuubo ka na ng isang linggo at ni minsan na di mo nadeklara ito hanggang sa mahuli ka din eh di tama. Buti sana kung magkakasakit ka ay ikaw lang. Parang wala tayo sa Pandemic ah. Business as usual lang ang dating sa iyo.

Dahil sa kagagawan mo maaaring may mga team mate ka pa na madamay. Lalo na kung magkakasama kayong kumakain o ngyoyosi break sa kung saang tagong lugar. Ang pinakamaganda pa eh ikaw na yung may kalokohan na ginawa eh ikaw pa ang parang galit. 

Alisin niyo na sa Core Values ng kumpanya ninyo ang Integrity. Sa tinagal tagal ko bilang Doctor sa inyo madami sa inyo ang wala niyan. Nakikita niyo naman siguro ang dami ng kaso na di pa daw nagpepeak. Gusto mo pa atang masama ang mga team mate mo sa napakalaking statistics na yan.

Kung nababasa mo ito at ganito ka rin pakibago na ang pananaw mo. Matagal pa ito at kahit anong ingat ng iba kung may mga tao na katulad mo eh madadawit pa din kami. Karamihan sa atin ay No Work , No pay.  Oo kasama kami sa No Work . No Pay. 

Hindi ka nakakatuwa. Magbago ka na.

Di Natutuwa(obviously),

Doc Hunyo

"3 things that I have thought about during The 2021 Facebook Outage"

 "3 things that I have thought about during The 2021 Facebook Outage"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD

The 2021 Facebook Outage was a period of 6 hours where no person on the internet could have access of the social network platform and it's associated applications like Instagram and What's App.

Having been on duty as this happened I felt like I was not affected by it all that much because I usually leave Facebook on to communicate with my wife who was also at work. But thoughts did come to me.And here they are.

1) People who have been using these apps as a distraction found that it disappeared and could have either found other things to do or focused on things that they were doing.

If there were some metric to measure productivity that 6 hours would have gone through the roof for some. Except probably if you were worried about the person you were talking to on facebook or if you use facebook to sell your wares.

2) People probably slept better or not.

Scrolling through Facebook , well that seems endless. And if you find yourself peeing in the middle of the night then opening the app some people I know could not even go back to sleep until later which affects their quality of sleep.

With that in mind , upon checking that they could not log in some people probably would have slept right back or changed to youtube. Hahahahha

3) People who were about to confess their feelings or receive that answer...would have waited for 6 hours.

Yup one of the thoughts I had was if someone just confessed and they were communicating via FB. That would have been a very tense 6 hours. Or a very short one if they can call the other person. I was thinking that I would stew a little bit if that ever happened to me. That I would not have the courage to call that person."Oh by the way , I love you..."

And then they could either say it back or politely pretend that they did not read my message yet. 

This is me high on coffee properly on a day off. So off to sleep in a few hahahaha. 

"Restart"

"Restart"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD

I

Dreaming and Waking

These tired eyes burning

Pleading to the Moon

Until the  Answer is the Sun's Returning

II

Pondering on the smoke filled dreams

Of times long past

Trying to retract words

but there damage is all that lasts

III

And if there is ever time to regret

That was also yesterday

For now all is done

And all that is left is to start a new day.

Optum. Quezon City. October 9 , 2021. 6:10am

"99 Other Things"

"99 Other Things"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD 

Someone once asked me what I would do if someone held a gun to my head. And I said nothing. The person who asked me then said that there were 99 other things that I could have done in a situation like this. 99 other things.

What I did not tell him was that I had no information that I could act on. Why was this person holding a gun to my head? Do I know this person? Could I reason with them? Was I in the way of something?

Sometimes in our haste to say that there was something else we could have done there are things that we do not consider. We forget to remember that there are so many variables involved in any given scenario.

There might be 99 other things to do at any a given situation but it doesn't mean that any of them might be useful or even succeed. Especially if the person holding the gun has already pulled the trigger.