"Hope in a place of the Dying"

"Hope in a place of the Dying"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD

Today is my last day in the Premier Hemodialysis unit and I find that I am leaving with a heavy heart but with a better feeling than if I have stayed. I must admit that despite the relatively benign nature of my duties here I find that I have been restless.  And I realized why.

I am surrounded by the dying. And if it is bad enough that I am still processing the deaths of my own parents the very thought of the people around me undergoing dialysis and their limited capacity to have a longer stay in this world is at the very least giving me a bleak outlook.

I do not want to focus on that bleak outlook as I go though. Instead I want to focus on love and devotion. Yes. Even in a place of death you see love and devotion in full display. The lives of some of my patients are hard , struggling to earn a living and taking care of their sick loved ones as well. In some case a sick person is also taking care of another sick person. Yet I see that there is hope in their eyes. As a doctor I know that all things inevitably lead to death. A non functioning kidney should be a good enough sign of that.

And yet they continue to love their spouses and go through this difficult journey with them. They scrounge up medicines . tirelessly going from one government institution or politician to curry favor. They line up and they travel and they take care of their sick spouse. 

I am thankful to have seen such hope. Such love.I am thankful that for a brief moment I was also able to help them in the little way that I could. So I have to say goodbye for now. Something that has never been easy for me.