Baconization Commences

Baconization Commences

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr. 

     The world is conspiring to baconize me. Yup , you read it right , the world is currently conspiring to make a total bacon out of me. A day before my only Hypertensive attack in recent years , I simply ate the bacon part of  of a KFC Double Decker. I woke up with a big headache and a BP of 150 / 110. I know it wasnt the bacons fault. It was all me but after taking medicine and I was on my feet again the other day.

     The conspiracy was again in my face. My brother who checked on me the previous night before wrote on one of my statuses that breakfast was already served down stairs. And Lo and Behold , it was bacon. Just what I needed for my BP I said. Well since there was no breakfast , I saw the little bacon bits that I assumed was left by Aven (My daughter) and Nadine (My Little sister) as their breakfast for school. I came down to the first floor to say hello to my mom and she had a full plate of bacon that she only took 3 strips from and was now handing to me. I know that this day I will be baconized. I just knew that after eating these lovely , crisp pieces of meat they will be like the Borg in my stomach. "We are the Bacon" they would start saying to my stomach and all its contents. "Resistance is futile." 

       "You will be baconized" they would say in that metallic choral voice and they would then start their short process of Baconization and pretty soon I will be consumed as I have consumed them. I will be bacon and soon all mankind will be bacon. There is only one logical explanation for all of these events. Baconization will occur and there is nothing that we can do to stop it.  At least I have accepted my fate. I will be a bacon soon.