"Isolation from Pain."

"Isolation from Pain."

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD

I was watching One more Chance with my wife earlier today and though there are a lot of things that I dislike about this film there were a few scenes that made me cry on the inside. And these were the scenes with the comedian Nanette Inventor. There were times that people would comment that she resembled my own mom. As a snide comment or a joke toward her. I really did not like it when people would comment on it but here I was seeing the actress and inside I was crying because I really missed my parents. 

While I do love Halloween celebrations it still pains me that they are no longer here. I don't cope well with or should I say that I am coping the best way that I could. Sometimes it even leads to more isolation on my part. I write these things to let it out actually but there is nothing that I can do about it except to do this.

There are no amount of comforting words or memories to fill up the loss. I recently lost a friend and my response is more isolation. I feel sapped of energy and my wife did notice the lack of energy but at least I can always pass it off as being tired from work which I always am nowadays. 

I do not wish for people to understand me as I write this. Merely to come into grips with what I am feeling. To process it in a way that will not force people for understanding. A lot may never get to read it. Or maybe when I have also joined my parents some might stumble on these thoughts of mine.

Writing is still my therapy and it still enables me to untangle myself. I can be honest in here at least.