"Dance"

"Dance"

by:

Alessandria Venice R. De leon

Dance. Dance is many things. What is it? It’s a word, it’s an art. For some, it is freedom, it’s a way to express themselves. It is sadness, it is anger, it is happiness. It is quite literally the physical representation of emotion. 

To me, dance is a dream. A sometimes far-away dream. But I’ll get there someday.

Dance is also a struggle.

Dance isn’t easy. It might even be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. 

I love to dance. Just like music, I can’t live without it. The first thing that pops into my head when I hear a song is how I could dance to it. If you ask my parents, they’ll say I can’t even walk around the house without at least dancing once. I’ve been told before that I can dance or that I’ve got a pedigree in dancing, thanks to my mom. So it was truly a shock to me and a great disappointment when I couldn’t get even the simplest of choreography's for a school project. I guess I got too confident. But then again, I’m never sure if I believe in myself too much or too little. I am a person who is admittedly emotionally weak, one mistake is all it takes to break down my already fragile confidence. Even now, as I’m writing this, my eyes start to sting. It doesn’t help that I’m overly critical of myself or that I’m a perfectionist who won’t settle for nothing less but absolute perfection when it comes to myself. With other people I am lenient, but when it’s me I point out every single flaw and mistake even when it hurts me. 

Dance gives me pain. Even when it hurts me, I still go for it. Maybe I’m crazy. My body hurts, my heart hurts, everything hurts. Everyday turns into a question of “Can I do this?” or “Am I really cut out for this?” It breaks my confidence and self-esteem down just as quickly as it builds it up. But after all this pain, I’d have to admit...

Dance gives me joy. Dance has given me more joy and confidence than anything in my life. Aside from music, dance is the best thing that has ever happened to me. There’s something in getting a step right or being able to perform a choreography perfectly. Dance completely changes me.

Dance is like two sides of the same coin. It is painful, it makes you question everything about yourself, and it is dull and dreary, but at the same time it is beautiful, inspiring, and it is colorful.

Whenever people see a finished dance presentation, they’re quick to think that it’s easy, and so they try it for themselves, just like me. The truth is that what they see is only the smallest part of dancing or learning how to dance. They don’t see the pain, the sacrifice, or the tears (both in our eyes and muscles). There’s a lot that goes on behind a presentation. I recount one time I used my break to let my feelings out in the bathroom because I felt that I couldn’t do anything right when I wasn’t able to get the steps as quickly as my classmates that day. I’ve recovered and I’ve tried to build myself up again after that experience by pushing myself harder to learn the steps and be able to catch up with my classmates but I’ve realized that it really does take a lot to be able to dance good. It takes courage to try and to fail, patience to persevere, dedication to practice, and hard work.

My message to all the dancers and artists out there is to never give up. Things may get hard and you’ll feel like giving up but don’t. Things will get better eventually. And if you ever feel like you’re just not made to dance or it’s not what you’re destined for, the sheer fact that you’re there learning how to dance means that some part of you is meant to be there, so don’t you ever question it.