"Hating The Sun. Loving The Cold"

"Hating The Sun. Loving The Cold"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.

     March has always been a really lonely month for me. It is a month of ends after all. Some may view it as a month of freedom and new beginnings but for me it is always about the end of things. Graduation and moving up is a sad thing for me because it marks the end of one thing. It is rather silly being stuck in the past but that is the kind of person that I am. Some might not notice all the changes but in my time I do , I am a creature of habit after all and a bit OC about the things that I have set for myself. The change of teachers and classmates and subjects. Harder or easier ones in my book make no difference. Moving up means an irreversible change. 

     Walking up the stage means saying goodbye to a certain lifestyle. I always believed that after high school everyone starts equal and creates a new niche in whatever place we end up to be. We find cooler friends or cooler things to do and we move on. We find people who understand us better than those in our previous school , people who would accept us more for what we are than what we might bring to a group or cause. We find our groups , we find our niche , we find our place. but this comes at the cost at saying goodbye to the things that we were and embracing the things that we might be. And as I wrote before I have a hard time letting go of certain things. Childishness for once. I think my daughter relates to me a lot more because I find that I have not moved up in this aspect of my life. We still watch Adventure Time together and when she plays with her toys she still asks me what dialogue I could provide. 

    March also ushers in the summer months. Summer. Just the word of it conjures up images of the scorching sun and dehydrated bodies. I do not wish to say goodbye to the cold winter months. I think better in the cold. Partly why I love the night is because the sun is not in it. I like the cloudy sky and the rainy sky. Summer just brings in more sun and the sure burning winds. Imagine having a fan blowing nothing more than hot air at you all the time.

    The beach is not really my place. I can sit in the shade and probably sip a few drinks and maybe oggle at some of the pretties that pass by but the place doesnt necessarily inspire poetry in me unless Im witinessing a violent storm or gray cast skies. Call me weird but I have always been like this and will probably die this way as well.

As far as I am concerned let us just move on the the Rainy season in advance.