“Daddy, I Miss You Riding Beside Me”: A Father, a Daughter, and the Madness of Philippine Roads."

“Daddy, I Miss You Riding Beside Me”: A Father, a Daughter, and the Madness of Philippine Roads."

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr. MD

During one of our dinners, my daughter Aven told me something with a sincerity that caught me off guard.

“Daddy, I miss you riding beside me.”

Then she asked me for a hug, which I promptly gave her.

Truth be told, she didn't really need to ask. I would have hugged her anyway. I miss her every day, even when we see each other regularly. There is something about being a father that makes you miss your child even as you watch her grow into the person she is becoming.

But Aven wasn't saying she missed having me beside her because she no longer wanted to drive alone. She was talking about something else entirely: the increasingly chaotic state of our roads, especially now that the Ber months have arrived.

I had already warned her that things would only get worse as December approached. The closer we get to Christmas, the more crowded the streets become, and the more some drivers seem willing to abandon whatever common sense they might have possessed.

Aven then told me about an incident that had genuinely shaken her.

“Muntik na akong maging balita, Daddy.”

I almost became news, Daddy.

Apparently, an idiot had decided to drive against the flow of traffic on a narrow, two-lane road. With traffic already congested, this driver had the audacity to head straight toward my daughter, who was simply trying to drive safely and get to her destination.

I explained to Aven that some drivers probably use these narrow streets to reach side roads or avoid traffic. But I also reminded her that knowing what other drivers might do is part of staying safe. You cannot assume everyone on the road will follow the rules, or even possess enough sense to recognize when they are putting other people's lives at risk.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only story she had to tell.

Another incident involved a mini truck that slowly backed into her car despite several vehicles honking to warn the driver. It took motorcycle riders banging on the sides of the truck to get the driver's attention.

The man had apparently dozed off in the middle of a stopped intersection along Katipunan.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Somewhere in Metro Manila, a driver had managed to turn a traffic intersection into his personal bedroom, apparently oblivious to the commotion around him.

If you have driven in the Philippines long enough, you know that this sort of thing is not entirely surprising. Still, there is a difference between hearing about reckless drivers and realizing that your own child is now encountering them without you sitting beside her.

Aven has begun to understand why I swear so much whenever I encounter people who break traffic rules. Name almost any violation, and chances are someone will be committing it somewhere nearby. Be it counterflowing, ignoring traffic signals, blocking intersections, or driving as though road markings are merely decorative suggestions, there is always someone willing to test your patience.

And now, my daughter is experiencing all of it herself.

As a father, I know I cannot protect her from every reckless driver, every distracted motorist, or every person who believes that the rules apply to everyone except them.

What I can do is teach her to remain alert, anticipate danger, keep her composure, and never assume that another driver will do the right thing.

And sometimes, if she needs me there beside her, I will gladly take the passenger seat.

I know she is growing up. I know she needs to learn to navigate the world on her own, and I want her to have the confidence to do exactly that.

But being a father means accepting that even when your child becomes independent, a part of you will always want to keep her safe.

So, Aven, if you ever feel that you need your dad riding beside you again, just say the word.

I'll be there.

Because the Philippine roads are already crazy enough. You shouldn't have to face all that madness without knowing that your dad is just one passenger seat away.