"Kidnap Me Not"

 "Kidnap Me Not"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD

(A Chatgpt experiment)

By the time YuuA heard the familiar whoosh of a smoke bomb and the overdone villain monologue echoing from the rooftop, she didn’t even flinch.

She calmly put down her smoothie, stood up from the café table, and sighed.

“Tuesday already?” she muttered, checking her phone. "Yep. Right on schedule."

The latest batch of kidnappers descended on zip lines, wearing black tactical gear, face masks, and enough unnecessary flair to make a boy band blush.

“YUUAAAAA! Come quietly, or—” the leader began.

She held up a hand, unimpressed. “Save the speech. Can we not do the net again this time? I just got my hair done.”

They blinked. “Uh… we have a hovercraft?”

She sighed. “Fine. Let’s get it over with. But I’m keeping my smoothie.”

Back at their hideout—well, what was left of it after the last rescue attempt—YuuA sat cross-legged on a suspiciously comfy couch, sipping her drink through a boba straw as the new villain squad bickered over restraints and strategy.

“This time it’s different,” one whispered. “We reinforced the doors with dragon-resistant alloys.”

“And we’re not monologuing this time,” another insisted. “No distractions. In. Out. Boom.”

Meanwhile, somewhere over the city, V felt a familiar tug in his chest—the dragon mark on his arm glowing faintly.

“Oh for the love of fire,” he groaned, dropping his book.

“She got kidnapped again?” his roommate asked, not even looking up.

“She let herself get kidnapped again,” V growled, already sprouting wings. “I told her to text me next time. I swear, if they lay a finger on her smoothie this time—”

With a gust of wind and a burst of glowing scales, V launched into the sky like a meteor on a mission.

Back at the villain lair, the goons had just finished high-fiving over successfully locking YuuA in a cage that looked expensive on paper but was probably made of cosplay-grade materials.

Then the wall exploded.

“YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS,” came V’s voice, echoing like thunder dipped in rage.

The leader turned pale. “Oh god, he’s hotter in person—WAIT NO I MEANT—”

Too late.

The room erupted in chaos. Wind. Fire. A very dramatic tail sweep. Someone screamed “ABANDON MISSION” before tripping over their own grappling hook.

V landed with a thud beside the cage, breathing hard, glowing faintly with residual fury.

YuuA looked up from her smoothie. “Took you long enough.”

“You didn’t text me.”

“I figured I’d give them a head start this time. They really tried.”

He sighed, gently bending the bars like paperclips and lifting her into his arms. “We’re moving. Somewhere remote. Somewhere where ‘kidnap insurance’ isn’t a real thing.”

“I hear the Moon Realm’s nice this time of year.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“I know,” she said, resting her head against his shoulder. “But if they try again next week, can you at least let me finish my bubble tea first?”

He groaned. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know.”

And with that, they flew off into the night, leaving behind smoke, panic, and yet another villain organization with a broken budget and trust issues.

Next Tuesday, though?

Well. We’ll see.