"Knowing where she went"

"Knowing where she went"

by:

Virgilio F. De leon Jr.MD

V opened his laptop. Accessed the wifi of the main building and logged into his youtube account where he had his favorite videos already saved. There was this one particular video that he liked probably because in that video he had counted that she had a total of 3 mistakes. It was rare for her to have even one so for him to find 3 meant that she was really tired or having trouble adjusting to choreography. He found it odd but he was happy to see that she can make mistakes once in awhile. 

He loaded that video and was about to put his headphones on when a patient poked her head in his door and asked him some questions about asthma.He had answered her questions and was cleaning up the table a bit when he heard something on the headphones. He decided to put it on and heard her voice.

"Psst.Hey.You.Yes you." The voice came though the headphones with clarity.

V took them headphones off and  looked around to see who was calling him.He looked at the screen and he had to rub his eyes a couple of times in disbelief. It was YuuA. Rather the YuuA in the video that was in his monitor was speaking directly to him. She was speaking Korean and he was understanding her without the subtitles! He looked at the coffee mug on his right hand and wondered if someone drugged him. He must be hallucinating.He pinched himself to check if he was awake and the pain was considerable. YuuA was the only one moving and all 6 of her other members seemed to be in some time freeze.

"V. Listen. You are awake and no one has drugged you."

"Now you are a mind reader too!" V exclaimed a little too loudly that the nurse outside his office noticed through the see-through glass panels and opened the door.

"Everything ok Doc? You need me for anything?" the smiling nurse asked.

"No. I'm good.I was just reacting to this video I was watching."

"Ok doc." And she stepped out without another word.

"Hey hey hey. You are ignoring me here." YuuA was shouting from the screen. "You know how I am. I hate being ignored."

"Is this some sort of trick? This isn't real." 

And then V saw it. Her infamous death stare from the screen. He knew that whatever this was he had to pay attention.

"Fine. I know better than to question that death stare."

YuuA smiled. "Now pay attention."

"Ok."

"Why do you love me?"

"I don't love you. I just like watching you."

"But isn't that your comment down there? saying "I love you YuuA!!!" she pointed at the comment section just below her and V's recent declaration."

"Yes."

"So answer the question?"

"I...I love you because you make me happy. In my mind you are more than just an idol on a screen. You represent someone who can make me feel things.Granted that you are thousands of miles away and even if I go to Korea what are the chances that I get to meet you in person and really get to know you right?"

"So you content yourself by watching every video that has me in it?"

"I don't watch every video you are in."

"Really?" YuuA touched the right side of the screen and all the videos V watched over a span of a year was displayed. YuuA reached out for one video and loaded it as a small rectangle on her feet. It was the video that her previous dance studio took to serve as promotions. "You even have this one. Isn't this a bit too obsessive?"

"Nope. Besides there might be some videos that you are in that I know nothing about so I haven't watched everything. Only those that I know about."

"Spoken like a true obsessed person."

"I am not obsessed about you. If I were I would be in a plane to Korea by now or might have camped out outside MW Entertainment offices a year ago to just get a glimpse of you. I am here on my desk now and talking to what seems to be my hallucination of you.I think after this I would still be here."

"Have you eaten yet? You seem grouchy."

"You just accused me of being obsessed! I have the right to be grouchy!"

YuuA laughed her sweet laugh at him that almost melted the scowl that he was now wearing on his face.

"I am just teasing you V."

"Is that an apology from the great YuuA? I am actually surprised."

"hey. You watch me. You know that I do say sorry."

"Like that time you took Seunsee's special metal chopsticks and didn't bother to wash them? that didn't sound like an apology."

"And you don't sound like you are obsessed at all!"

"Hey. What is with you and that word? I am nothing like that."

"If you say so but I know otherwise."

"How the hell would you know? Like I said I am on the other side of the  East China sea and you know nothing about me."

"I know this though."YuuA pointed at the histories of videos , saved pictures , bookmarked sites. "I know enough that you should stop and start living your life again."

"What life? You mean the one where I am alone all the time? Where no one understands me? The life where no one cares if something happens to me or not? That life?"

YuuA looked as sad as she would in real life and she seemed to flicker on the laptop screen for a moment.

"I meant the life that you ran away from. The dreams that you had to be the one on the top of your field. The one where you created beautiful poetry. The one that made you happy rather than me."

"Sometimes things happen for a reason. I think I was meant to be alone.To be here in this place taking care of sniffles and unknown gastric pains. I just want you to keep me company as I trudge on. So I can smile a little and think of things that can be."

YuuA moved closer to the screen and placed her hand there as if to reach for the sad man. "It all seems like a trap that you can't  escape from. I am going to prove you wrong though.Wait for me."

V gave off what can only be described as a snort/laugh/choking sound."Hallucinations can't change the future. I swear I am not going to take any more duties on weekends. This is getting way off hand. "

YuuA laughed at him then pursed her lips with a little bit of sadness in her eyes. He had forgotten how expressive they were and he simply cannot turn away as she looked more at him.

"Just wait for me. I am on my way."

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"Doc...Doc. We have a patient coming up. It seems like one of our guests got ill after eating something." His nurse patted him awake. And he knew instantly that he fell asleep in front of his laptop again. His coffee untouched. The food he brought now cooling on his left. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. His laptop screen was dark and of course YuuA was nowhere to be found. 

"Yup. My favorite reality. Unknown Gastric pains." V murmured.

"Doc?"

"Oh sorry. I mean send the patient in when they arrive."

The nurse turned around and opened the door , "Oh , the patient is here." 

"Annyeong-haseyo." The patient bowed in greeting and as she lifted her head V knew just where YuuA went.

"Annyeong-haseyo." V stammered in response.