"Literally Assholes for Days"

"Literally Assholes for Days"
by:
Virgilio F. De leon Jr. MD

I work in a Pre-Employment clinic during the day and boy do I see a lot of assholes.Seriously, I Literally see assholes. I ask patients to bend over , spread their buttocks wide so I can examine that hole in the middle. To boldy go where no man has gone before.For various reasons.

And probably the weirdest part of my job is that when I have done with a rectal exam some of my patients would turn their heads around still spreading their butt cheeks and tell me: "Thank you Doc" with a smile on their faces. A freaking wide smile!

I find it weird because of two things:1) They might have actually enjoyed it and 2) You don't actually thank someone who just poked you in the butt...unless you go back to #1.

Then there is all the Devirginized jokes. "Masakit Doc. First time"
Some of the Anal Sphincters that I felt would prove that otherwise.

Then there are some patients who nervously look at me even before they go in to the examining room. I think they usually look at my fingers. Tough luck. I have big hands so I have big fingers. The patient usually looks at the other doctors as well and again no such luck. Even the lone female Doc in the clinic also has big hands!

These scenarios repeat day in and day out. So much so that when one of them doesn't happen like clock work I get mildly surprised. Or I assume that I already have old patients coming in that day. I don't think there would be any more surprises left for them.

Just the usual request of..."Tuwad po."