"A Dancer’s Perspective on BTS - Black Swan"
by:
Alessandria Venice R. De leon
“A dancer dies twice-once when they stop dancing, and this first death is the more painful.” -Martha Graham
Anyone who’s seen the twinkle in my eyes when I talk about BTS or seen my smile that goes from ear-to-ear when a song by them is played in public knows that I absolutely adore them. Now with that being said, upon receiving news of them releasing a single before the album for promotion, I of course decided (read: dropped my friends and family immediately) to give it a listen. It..struck quite a few chords within me, in varying notes too. In this little reflection, I’ll tell you all about my thoughts and opinions on the song “Black Swan” by BTS.
If anyone would ask me to describe Black Swan in one word, it would either be greatest-hit-of-the-century-oh-my-God or terrifying.
Terrifying? What do you mean? How could a song sung/rapped by seven handsome and talented Korean men be terrifying? It’s not exactly easy for me to simply list down reasons of why I find Black Swan sometimes terrifying (most of the time downright headbangable!), but I’ll try my best.
Black Swan is a catchy, albeit painfully honest song about losing passion for the things you love most. And that hit me a little too close to home. It took me back to the day I told myself that I should just quit dancing, because I said that I’d never be good enough anyway. I’m pretty sure this pessimistic train of thought was started by a simple misstep or a single move I couldn’t get right (Yes, I am extremely hard on myself). So yes, I really did consider quitting dancing. Although I still am an amateur, I wouldn’t have gotten to the level I am now if I quit that day. Listening to Black Swan made me realize that oh my God, I almost died my first death right there. If I did take that road, I’m scared that I might have never been able to turn back. Maybe there’s an alternate universe or parallel earth where I don’t. That’s not for me to know.
Black Swan scares me because it forces me to confront truths and aspects of my passions I never even knew existed. It’s like being thrusted towards a big bulletin board with a single piece of white bond paper on it and being asked to choose which strand you want to take as a senior highschool student, which would then more or less dictate your career that you would be doing for the rest of your life. Until you die. AT GUNPOINT. WITH A TICKING TIME BOMB NEXT TO YOU THAT SAYS “0:10” ON THE BIG RED DISPLAY. It’s just that scary.
Imagine losing feelings and losing passion for the thing you thought you’d love forever and spend the rest of your life happily doing. This is for the artists in class who want to grow up to be animators, or maybe even the people who truly have a love for dance and desire to pursue it as a career but hide it from their parents in fear of their disapproval. Some people’s passions and careers line up perfectly, and I’m happy for them. Some people really are passionate about being doctors, lawyers, or any career regarded as “honorable” by strict Asian parents. But for those who want to be something else other than an architect or an engineer, I get you. It’s hard carrying the secret of what you really want to do with your life with you everyday. Then if you do tell your parents, it could go horribly wrong. You’d get into fights with them just so they’d let you. So let’s assume they do. Then the unthinkable happens.
Imagine one day realizing that your heart no longer beats as fiercely or your eyes don’t sparkle as brightly at the mention of your dream. Imagine when you’re no longer affected by a danceable song or a beautiful piece of poetry. Even your dream seems to have lost all meaning. What do you do? You might have made countless, painful sacrifices for it, so much so, that you’d never be able to turn back. You’re stuck, because you think you’ve taken the wrong path. But here’s the thing. Find a way to get back that fire, get back that shine. Take yourself back to the places you’ve made your best memories in doing what you really love. Remind yourself why you made those sacrifices in the first place. Lest you suffer your first death.
The quote stated before doesn’t explicitly apply only to dancers, but to all artists. If you’ve already figured the pattern out from my other posts on my dad’s blog, this is the part where I offer my advice (take it with a grain of salt, I’m only 14). In every person’s life, there is almost inevitably a moment or even period of self-doubt. And that’s okay. It’s okay to question yourself, it’s okay to question if what you’re doing is still good for you. Whatever the answer to your questions may be, my only wish for you, dear reader, is for you to always follow your heart.
